I look better un-naked...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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