So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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