It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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