You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
