He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
