OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
