yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I will pee on everything he values.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
