The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
