Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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