Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
MIDGETS
????
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
