normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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