I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
