she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
