we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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