sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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