We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
