Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
