He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
