hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
