dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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