Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
