would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
