I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
