..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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