remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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