you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
