It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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