I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I could fuck to npr.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
COCAINE IS GR8
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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