so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
