Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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