Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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