I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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