I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
