Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
