Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
