foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made out with two different species that night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
