ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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