apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
