Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
