I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I need to calm my uterus...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
