I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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