i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
