Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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