im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
