i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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