we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
