I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
