I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
