The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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