The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
